come baby, we ain't gonna live forever
Wednesday, October 11, 2006

This is a continuation of my story at Rizal Park..........

Do you remember the bisexual that i told you back in my previous blog? the person whom i had a crush with?.....well,well,well........i was a bit disappointed and turned off because of the gossips i have heared about that guy, plus the fact that it was confirmed to me by the person who is also involved to what has transpired. That guy approached me and got the chance to have a chitchat with me, having a conversation with me wasnt boring for he keeps on talking and very open of what he was doing, he even told me about his deepest secrets and just laughs about it, thats why im very flattered coz it just means that even if we are just newly acquainted from each other, he already trusted me,he is a type of person who is lively but never annoying. During our conversation, I realized that I was already revealing my secrets to him, most especially the name of the bisexual whom i had a crush with, im afraid that he might tell my crush about the things that we talked about especially that issue considering the fact that they are close friend, after which he told me that my crush has a girlfriend already, and he confidently added that my crush and him kissed each other (french kiss), but according to him that was just a dare or a "trip" and nothing malicious to it. I cnt explain how i felt from the moment he told me what happened, so i resort in denying that i still have feelings for my crush until now coz im really embarrased from that moment. To prevent him from seeing that i was affected because of the confession, i immediately laugh out loud and asked bout the complete details of what happened, eventhough it hurts.

While writing this blog, I realized that the quotation "Love cannot be easily unlearned" is true, because until now i was not lost out love, it just keeps on wanting him. Honestly, i still think of the first day i saw him, and the moment he approached me and asked for my cp num, and everytime i reminisce those days, i feel like i possess the length of raponzel's hair.........i keep on dreaming until now....................jejejejejejejeje


1:19 AM;

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Last Sept.18, i was invited by my gay friend mikaela to play volleyball at Rizal Park, but what was ackward about that is that the playing time is between 10 pm to 4 in the morning, i was a bit curious and excited of what were the things in that kind of place during those times and in that kind of place because i once knew that Rizal Park was the haven of prostitution, having those thinkings i accepted the invitation and waited for 10 pm to play volleyball and see the enjoyment happening there for myself. However, the things that my friend had told me wasnt that true because eventhough that there are prostitute or just ordinary people, they somehow know how to welcome newcomers like me, i met different people such as straight man and woman, bisexuals, gays, lesbian, and people from different places and ages with exciting personalities and sense of identity. At the same night while im in the court perspiring, a bisexual is constantly giving me compliments about how i look and how i play my game, its very flattering in my side because he sounds sincere plus the fact the he is handsome and delicious...hehehehehe...however i always ignore what he is saying to abstain myself from being hurt again for it might turn out to a commitment.

Because i enjoyed their company, i returned the next day having the thought of playing volleyball and seeing that guy again, but i was frustrated because he wasnt there, so i end up concentrating on my game and anticipating that he might come again tommorow.

I didnt understand the feeling when he went the next day because i was shock, excited, conscious, and overwhelmed because he was there, always calling my name and again giving me compliments, but the thought that he was just playing with me, i really did not give to much to attention with him..........and that kind of scenario always occurs day after day...or should i say dawn after dawn.

Yesterday, i told my other gay friend that i have a admiration to that guy, and without hesitation, my gay friend immediately gave his number to me......he was sitting beside the volleyball court while im playing volleyball and i overheard him asking my other friend what is my name, of course i was happy because he is consistent of giving much attention to me than the other gays.....after a while, he approached me and asked for my cellphone number, to hide my feelings for him i resort of throwing a joke, give him my number , then walk away.....seconds after, my cellphone produced a tone....then it was him, sending me love quotes.......i turned my eyes on him and he returned a smile......what does that mean?........until know we are keeping in touch and im loving the feeling for now..........


3:40 AM;

Thursday, August 24, 2006

The pressure that i have experienced this week was really inevitable, because of all the requirements and projects that was given to us by our instructors from the different subjects. To think that all of the subjects i have taken this term are computer related subjects, so it is expected that ill spent all my time in front of a computer unit that is not up to date,and i consider as dumb. All my instructors requires me to pass all the projects on a very short period of time and in the same date of deadline,sometimes im thinking that they have agreed to really give their students a hard time considering that this will be the very last project during this term.However, i was a little relieved because i was able to finish the two projects i had prior to this blog, I still have 4 projects unfinished from different subjects, and all of those should be passed on Monday next week, which is also the same day of our Final exams which covers all the topics we had back from our prelims, so as you can imagine, i am now puzzled and distraught because i still have a lot of things to worry, I am also confuse how will i manage my time because i need to simultaneously make my projects and study hard for the upcoming exams.I just hope that ill get over this soon, i know i can through patience and determination,well maybe on tuesday which is the last day of this term and exams ..............i just hope that today is tuesday...hoop........that would be a big relief...


9:21 PM;


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Johnnel Portillo

"The greatest glory in life is rising from every falling and not falling from every rising because winning is not always the victory and losing is not always the defeat."

My desires
*boys all these boys got nothing but boys on my mind
*Asian, Hispanic, Caucasian or Black
*So many I just cant decide...
*Some cute some nice.. some sweet sexy bodies...


move ya body

Avy
Tina
Vanessa
Kath
June
Jonalyn *bigatin*
Jesel *kaibigang BEAUTY-ki*
kath
link
Jovan




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